Dad's Day...

Originally Published in the Greenwood Daily Journal  June 18, 2011


Father's Day is a holiday that celebrates fatherhood, paternal bonds and the influence of fathers in today's society.  Like Mother's Day, the exact origin of this day is hard to trace back.  I did a little research to see when the first Father's Day was celebrated and on the record.  I saw 3 separate dates with 3 different stories giving little real  background information as to how and why we have set aside a day just to honor our fathers.

Father's Day is celebrated on a variety of dates worldwide and typically involves gift-giving, special dinners to fathers, and family-oriented activities.  Like the day set aside to celebrate Motherhood and the important women in our lives, the third Sunday in June has also taken on a really commercial feel.  Look in any advertisement for the big box stores and you will see that 'Every dad needs a new grill, flat screen television and a lawnmower'.  They also must need a new dress shirt with a matching tie to feel loved and appreciated.  Throw in a tool set and your father will be as happy as a clam!

I think we have all seen at least 1 example of  how the father's role in the family unit that has changed over the years.  I know when I was born the father was not even allowed in the hospital room for their own child's birth.  Father's were expected to be this stoic tower of strength, not shed a tear, not kiss a scraped knee and definitely not be the stay at home parent while the wife earns the sole income. Cook a meal, clean the house? Forget about it!  This is how fatherhood has been portrayed over the years in society.

Since I am obviously not a father, I wanted to get a little insight into their role so  I did a little research of my own.  I polled several men I know who are a father,whether biological or adopted, and asked them 1 question.  What was the first memory they had of truly feeling like a father?  That one moment that they thought, "I am someones Dad."


The responses to my questions were not what I was expecting at all.  Of course, the first man I asked was my husband.  His response was that he really felt like he was someones dad the first time another child called him Mr. Tallman.  He thought, the only Mr. Tallman he knew was his dad.  They could not mean him?  Being called Noah/Jacob's dad kind of brought the feeling home that this is sort of like your second name.  Someones Dad.

A few of my other responses were:

*When my wife went in to labor and we were on the way to the hospital and I was not afraid.  I knew I was ready and it was my job to get them to the hospital safely and quickly.  I didn't even think about it, I just knew.
*The moment my oldest daughter was placed on her mothers chest. I saw her face....I knew I was meant to be a dad. I have never lost that feeling, nor will I! At that moment in time I was a father and the tears told the story.

*I felt like a father the first time I felt like I had protect her. Unfortunately, that was about 3 days after she was born. My daughter had jaundice and we took her to the ER (per doctor's orders). They wanted to start an IV but couldn't find access. They tried almost 10 times, poking her each time. She wailed and my wife was crying! I remember thinking that this is my child and they are not going to cause her anymore pain. I stood over the top of her and told them "enough". The story goes on but I truly felt like a father then and will always feel like I need to protect her.

*For me, when I came to grips that I was going to be a dad, I got a tattoo over my heart in Japanese that said "Courage". I wanted something that I could see everyday in the mirror that let me know I was up to the task.
*I would say that I truly felt like a father the first time I held both of my twins.... I felt a natural connection with them immediately. However everyday when I pick them up from daycare and they both come running up to me smiling with their arms out to hug me also makes be feel very fatherly as well.

 I gathered enough information from my query to know that the paternal bond is a strong one.  Somehow over the years it has been decided that the only one who could ever hold a family together was the mother.  I think it was just easier to assume that the mom's out there could and should do it all.  Now, I am not negating the fact that moms do a whole heck of a lot but this is not 1950 anymore and the roles in parenthood have become more equal.  I say it's high time to give Dad's their due.  Gone is the vision of Al Bundy and here is the new Dad. 

I used to think that it was a little melodramatic to personify fathers as heroes.  I mean, they are just people like you and me.  But when you just take a moment and reflect on the day to day strength some fathers show without even thinking twice about it, well, that is pretty darn heroic to me.
My father is one of the hardest working men I have ever known.  When I was growing up  he worked very long hours in a job he didn't particularly like just to make sure we all had what we needed.  Not wanted, but needed.  Even now, he spends his free time helping others in his community.  He is a born volunteer.  Recently, with all of the storm damage in Bloomington, he has gone from house to house with a crew of other volunteers and cut up fallen trees and helped remove debris.  Not for money or praise but because of his benevolent spirit.

So you could say the bar was set fairly high when I met my husband.  I needn't have worried, though.  I have rarely had to ask him to help me over the years with our kids.  It was unspoken that we both shared in the responsibility of caring for them and I couldn't have done it with out him.  I hate to use the tired of phrase of "He was born to do this", but he was.
 
Like my Mother's Day wish, my husband's desire on Father's Day is to spend this special day with his kids.  Just hanging out, having a great meal and relaxing.  No schedule, nowhere to go.  We may go fishing in the backyard pond, play a few games of horse in the driveway or watch a movie before bedtime.  I asked him what he would like for me to make him for dinner on Sunday.  I was not surprised when his response involved 2 of his favorite B's.  Beef and beer.I
I remembered a few years ago we went to a Colombian restaurant and had the most amazing dipping sauce with our carved beef called Aji.  I remembered (because I came home and wrote it in my food journal) what I knew was in it and after a few trial runs I came up with this final recipe.  It is good over any meat, red or white.  It is also a good garnish for fish taco's or white rice. I marinated a few flank steaks in a dry rub and a local beer Osiris. The combination along with this Aji dipping sauce has Happy Fathers Day written all over it!

So to all of the fathers, brothers, uncles and other family members out there that play an important role in a child's life I wish you a Happy Father's Day.  Put your feet up and relax.  You deserve it.

 Flank steak with Osiris Marinade
 2 1 1/3 lb flank steaks
1 1/2 TB dried oregano
1 TB cumin
coarse salt/fresh pepper
1/4 C olive oil
2 TB brown sugar
6 green onions sliced thin
8 oz. Osiris Pale Ale or 12 oz Porter
1/2 C Worcestershire sauce
Combine all of the dry ingredients in a small bowl.

Score the meat in a diamond pattern to allow the marinade and rub to sink in.  Rub the meat with the dry mix.  Lay in a shallow 9x 13 pan.  drizzle with the olive oil, sprinkle in the green onions, add the beer and finally the Worcestershire sauce.
Cover and allow to marinade from 3 hours to overnight.  We grilled this outside since it is warm but you could also use an indoor grill or grill pan.  Let rest for 10 minutes then slice thinly and serve with the Aji sauce.
Aji
Add to the bowl of a food processor or blender the following:
1 tsp sugar
 1/2 C chopped jalapeno pepper
 1/2 C chopped green onions
1/3 C chopped sweet onion like Walla Walla or Vidalia
1/4 C cilantro
1TB lime juice
1 TB red wine vinegar
3/4 tsp salt
 a few cracks of fresh black pepper.

Pulse until combined .  Leave it chunky and not completely pureed and refrigerate it.

 This can be made a day ahead.  You would think that this is very hot but really it's not too bad.  It tasted so good and is so easy it will quickly become your go-to grilled meat accompaniment.